If you think about it, the gay community is actually pretty diverse. We are men from all walks of life, ethnicities, religion’s and we span the globe. Yes, we are all attracted to men, but other than that, what else do we have in common? Not a whole lot. After truly thinking about the commonalities we share, the only other trait we all have, is that we yearn for acceptance. Worst part? We can barely accept each other and are the first to tear each other apart.
When we were younger, we had to accept the fact that we were different. We weren’t like most boys who were fantasizing about women. We were boys who fantasized about other boys. For the most part, we were more feminine than most kids on the playground and didn’t really have a “place”. Not invited to play sports with the boys and rarely included to hangout with the girls, we had nowhere to go.
This feeling of not having a place stuck with us throughout our years in school. Although some of us came out throughout middle school and high school, we still no matter what, were “the gay kid.” The label made us easy targets for teasing and pushed us further into isolation. The words “faggot” and “queer” were slung our way in the hallways. We did our best to not let those words affect us, but they did. It made us feel horrible about who we were as gay men and we started to question ourselves and if we were lovable.
Because we were so torn down when we were younger, some of us, as gay men, have turn into the bullies that once picked on us. Whether it’s hating on the new guy, making fun of someone’s weight or even just speaking negatively about a friend for no reason, we have become the person we most dreaded.Some of us believe that the only way to build ourselves up, is to tear others down. This is not the case and it should be corrected.
Personally, I am guilty of doing everything I just mentioned. I have no excuse but I have fallen into the typical “bitch gay” stereotype on numerous occasions. Making fun of someone’s insecurities has become part of our culture. “Reading” someone or “throwing shade” is just another way making fun of someone, and gay men has mastered the art.
Remember not too long ago, we were ALL on the other end of vicious words and to this day still feel the pain of being called them. Although we are not calling each other “faggot” or “queer”, the words we say are just as piercing and unnecessary. As a community, how can we expect the world to accept us, when we cannot accept each other? Although diverse, we ARE a minority and as a community, we should stick together, be our biggest cheerleaders and simply start cutting each other some slack.